Dependent Personality Disorder

Since I still in Psychiatry posting, all of my thinking are still around with the disorder related to mental illness and psychiatry.

Honestly, this posting really attracted me so much and I have more and more interests into it. ^.^ I never think that I will like anything related to communicate with other people, but I enjoy listening to the patient's problems. They have different interesting stories which can inspire me sometimes.

Last week, I prepared for a presentation of personality disorders. Actually, personality disorder involve deeply ingrained, inflexible patterns of relating to others that are maladaptive and cause significant impairment in social or occupational functioning. They lack insight about their problems and it is Axis II diagnosis. (Copied from my textbooks, I also understand half half only, although I presented it in the class.)

Overall, personality disorder is not a mental illness and it occur since childhood or early adulthood. I diagnosed myself to have mild depression and 'internet' dependence syndrome last few weeks. Now, I found out that I may be have dependent personality disorder too. =.=lll

Everything also need a prove right? Ok, according to the DSM-IV criteria, dependent personality disorder is a pattern of submissive and clinging behaviour due to excessive need to be taken of. At least 5 of the following must be present:

1. difficulty making everyday decisions without reassurance from others (nod my head)

2. needs other to assume responsibilies for most areas of his or her life (nod again)

3. cannot express disagreement because fear of loss of approval (nod nod nod...)

4. difficulty initiating projects because lack of self-confidence (nod till my head tired already)

5. goes to excessive lengths to obtain support from others (erm... maybe?)

6. feels helpless when alone (no more energy to nod)

7. urgently seeks another relationship when one ends

8. preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of self

1,2,3,4,5.. Oh no, I fixed at least 5 of the criterias!!!

Ok ok, I know I cannot labelled myself to this disorder as I like. All those disorder which I suspect I got is probably due to my excessive worry. Erm? Excessive worry is also a kind of problems in psychiatry, lol.

The more you know, the more you will worry, hahaha...

Internet dependence syndrome

In psychiatry, there are some criterias to diagnose alchohol or other substance dependent. Since I am still in psychiatry posting, I like to link all those criteria and think whether this happen to me also.

Last few weeks, I diagnosed myself to have symptoms of depression, according to the criteria I learnt in DSM-IV (A classification of psychiatry illness). I don't know whether it's correct for me to do so, but at least I got good insight. ^.^

Recently, the wireless service in my room was cut down without any reason. This caused many inconveniences to me because I can't online to check mail, facebooking... I felt my life is not meaningful when can't online at any time I like.

When I discussed this issue with my friends, they said I have 'internet' dependence syndrome.

For informations, the correct criteria for dependent:

1. Compulsive

2. Stereotype pattern

3. Primacy/priority

4. Tolerance

5. Recurrent withdrawal symptoms

6. Reinstatement after withdrawal

7. Relief drinking

As modifications of my situation, I am almost fit to the criteria all so called 'internet dependence syndrome' (Actually was created by my friends and I)

1. Compulsive: I am craving to online and surf the internet all the time.

2. Stereotype pattern: I like to online in my room, at the same place and almost everytime when I am in the room, after my class

3. Primacy: I can online until I late for my meal, delay my homework and study, stay overnight just to online

4. Tolerance: I need more and more hours to enjoy excitement of online

5. Recurrent withdrawal symptoms: anxious, worry, can't concentrate

6. Reinstatement after withdrawal: I tried to away from my laptop so that I can more concentrate on my study. In the end, I fail to do so.

7. Relief: I only able to feel satisfied of my day after surfing the internet, even surf for purposeless reasons.

Whether it is true or not, I can't deny that I have fit all those symptoms and I really need to find out a solution for this. If not I will become an 'addict' other that the caffeine. Who can give some good suggestion?

Self-Diagnosed Depression

It has been May of 2010, without I realised it.

I am now in PSY posting, in which I saw a lot of depression, bipolar and schizophrenia patients. There was a thought that I have depression too, because I met some of the symptoms. Since last month, my mood is fluatuating and in low mood most of the time. I know what caused it mostly, but I just cannot get rid of it.

Poor sleeps with multiple wakenings, loss of interests in watching movie in which I enjoy the most last time, changes in appetite, guilty and feeling doubt of myself why I am a failure in that problem. All these symptoms happened for the last one month.

I am a coward, dare not to meet the failure, do not have the gut to fight with others. I just able to let all those problems run away by themselves. People said time is the best medicine for the problems. I do hope that it effective to me.

Recover from bad flu

Last 2 weeks, I was thrown a question by a friend of mine before the class started:

'Hey, what happen to you? U cried before?'

I was shocked, thinking of the reasons he said so.

'No la, I just have a bad flu these few days, and had bad sleeps. These maybe cause I looked so non-energetic and with swollen eyes...'

After that, I tried to take a picture of mine using handphone camera. To my surprise, I really looked old and different from previously. There was no any smile, flat expression from my face. The eyes were swollen, without spirits. In one word, I am totally looked bad during that time.

Now, I am recovered from the flu and prolonged fever. Hope that I will returned back into a cheerful face, with a sweet smile. :-)

Anyway, thanks to my friend who is so observant and noticed some changes on me. This made me feeling warm because there is always people care for you even though you think there is no one. :-)

女人

曾希望自己可以成为才女，把我脑里的思绪全用文字表达出来。

灵感，似乎爱与我作对，最近全无头绪，我的生活，就是那么的乏闷。打开电脑想写些什么，脑子却一片空白。

5月1日是公共假期，我依旧当个宅女。没心情，也没有金钱。。。

说真的，我其实不懂自己心底真正渴望的是什么。辉煌的学业成绩？人人羡慕的伴侣？没错，我是希望可以全都拥有，有可能吗？人生必然会经历起起落落，强求也是无补于事。

女人都不了解自己，男人又如何了解女人呢？

这是我最经常说的一句话，是多次与妹妹及友人谈心后所得到的结论。

女人总爱感慨男人不了解女人，可是女人是否想过她很了解自己吗？如果没有，那男人怎么会比你更懂呢？

沟通吧！上帝制造了嘴巴和耳朵就是这个原因。