PSY Lesson1: Family support

It's quite a long time ago for me to update my blog here. Not in such a mood to write anything before this although there were alot of events happened on me.

Today, with a better mood, I would like to share my experience in new posting which started last 2 weeks. I had finished my medicine posting and currently in psychiatric posting for 8 weeks.

Honestly, I was afraid of patients in psy ward due to lack of awareness of these patients before that. After spending 2 weeks in ward, they give me alot of inspirations and changed my new model of thinking, into more appreciate and open-minded.

Major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia are the most common diagnoses of admitted patients. Even though there is a link between genetic and family history, I noticed there are many ladies experienced relationship problems with their partners and thus in the end they fall into deep depression or other mental illness. I am not here mentioning that guys are not facing similar problem, but this is just my own point of view of of the majority I saw. (If got chances I will talk about guy's main problems next time, hehe)

Some people are lucky enough to get strong supports from their family members and friends in order to get through all those worries and problems, listening to the sounds deep in their heart. I am totally agree with the importance of family and social support in our lives. For my own experience, I will definitely give up alot of things without any of those supports, no matter in physical and mentally.

The patients who experienced mental illness are not under their willing too. Sometimes this happen because they can't find the proper way to express their problem, they feel hopeless and worthless. For instances, when they face relationship problems, they will get through the sadness easier if the family members support them or a good listener. Family support, which is invisble, but we can feel it and it is such such important!

We are learning everyday and change into a better life. So, if we can change our own conventional thinking, not too negativism, we may find out that our future are still bright even though we thought we have met the end of the life. All these just within your mind. Try to listen good advices and learn to accept. There is nothing which is impossible!!!

P/S: I like my PSY posting. :-)

Sleeping sickness

I never thinking of skipping classess, even though how fierce the lecturer is.

This morning was quite bad to me, because I overslept and late for the wardround. The most unforgivable is I had late for more than one hour!!! I only managed to open my eyes after 10 hours sleep when my groupmate phone me. =.=lll

The night before, I slept early, set my alarms and told myself to wake up on time. The 5 alarms and text messages from my leader also failed to wake me up. Now, I have no any idea what can wake me up every morning.

I felt very guilty because of my this bad habits. It makes me always late to class, 'fishing' in the class and not paying enough concentration of what I do. I hope that Professor would not remember me for late to his class or meet him again in the final exam???

Oh my god, I don't know when does this similar condition will happen again? Sleeping sickness, please get away from me!!!

DEATH

I could only say that we can't predict our lifespan. We have planned a lot what we are going to do in the future, with the good career, spending times with beloved family...It is good to plan before we proceed to do any decision. But, did we think of if there is some unexpected events interupt your well-planning plan for your future?

It was two years ago when we received a shocked news, that one of our nice senior had passed away in a car accident when he was on his way back to Seremban. This was really unexpected and we even thought that it was an April fool joke. He was in his housemanship that time and he also had a stable relationship with his girlfriend. A motor-vehicles accident had destroyed all these happiness with sadness remaining.

Besides, clinical posting in hospital could open up my mind and makes me think a lot too. There was a young couples in the ward that the husband was diagnosed to have end-stage lung cancer which is very extensive. All of the tumour cells spread his whole body within a few months. He was very thin and cachexic when we met him. Researches showed that there is relationship between smokers and lung cancer, but this pity uncle did not smoke at all. How come he could suffer from lung cancer too??

If someone asks me,

'do you afraid of death?'

I could just answer them the answer is 'NO'

'But, I just want to be alive so that my family members and person I love would not feel sad.'

'We have to appreciatate what we have now and grab golden chances to prevent we will regret later'

Actually I learnt this lession 3 years ago, from one of my best friend, and I am glad that I do not miss anything that I like since then.

Just do it what you think you are right, don't wait till tomorrow because you will never predict what will happen the next.

S.H.E - 你不会

作词：姚若龙 作曲：郑楠 编曲：吕绍淳

第一次拥吻以前 我们找不到语言
但听见彼此灵魂多渴望永远
贴心后嘴角的甜 摩擦后眼角的咸
一起 懂爱和真爱的差别

你送的杯子里面 还装着温热感觉
你给的每个纪念都排在床沿
相机是牵手两年 围巾是东京五天
戒指 是又哭又笑的道歉

我不相信 你心中现在她最美
你不会你不会你不会把我们的爱踩碎
我不相信 你口中会讲出后悔
你不会你不会你不会不心疼
我拒绝被看见的泪

当初被激烈反对 你安静却没妥协
对我更好来瓦解别人的偏见
我生气失踪几天 我倔强口不择言
是你 紧抱我到情绪沉淀

我不相信 你心中现在她最美
你不会你不会你不会把我们的爱踩碎
我不相信 你口中会讲出后悔
你不会你不会你不会不心疼
我拒绝被看见的泪

我不相信 走来的幸福在脱轨
你不会你不会你不会留残酷让我面对
我不相信 累积的回忆都损毁
你不会你不会你不会舍得
我流一滴像乞讨 的泪

~喜欢这首歌的旋律+感人的歌词~
支持SHE最新专辑 SHERO

妇产科

刚看完一部韩国电视剧，是关于医院妇产科里，孕妇们所可能面对的问题以及准父母的困扰。

当初纯粹属于好奇才追看，没想到就迷上了，在此推荐于有兴趣的朋友。

故事大纲：《妇产科》以一家地方医院妇产科为背景，通过描写医生、准夫妻等不同的人物面貌，讲述了现代社会的爱情和婚姻以及和怀孕相关的各种小插曲。剧中，女主角徐惠英医生，在即将晋升为教授的时候，得知自己意外怀孕的事实，从而陷入深深的苦恼。性格冷静的徐惠英面临堕胎、自己的怀孕、分娩相关的一系列现实性矛盾，并为此而苦恼。

P/S: 有些画面很感动，请事先自备纸巾。:P


现实生活：数年前，与友人约定一起进入医学系，未来一起成为妇产科医生。当时我们都是因为喜欢小孩，抱着单纯的理想。


无奈，这些约定已无法如计划进行了。我们俩各分前程，不懂她是否还怀着当年的抱负呢？在医院实习了一年多，了解自己的能力，我自认没信心未来可以朝那方面发展，而且听到的评语通常是：

‘妇产科很忙的，通常没有时间照顾家庭’

‘责任很重大，因为承担的是两个人的性命’

‘稍有任何差错，很容易被控告’

虽然如此，我还是需尽我的本分，好好完成最后一年的课程。未来不管在那一领域，为大众服务，拯救生命才是最重要。Cause no harm。(不过,不可否认我还是特别对这一方面较有兴趣，嘻嘻。。。)

Parents and Family

Today clerk a patient with leg swelling. I am now not focusing on his main problem, but the issue that he suddenly raised up just now.

Instead of I questioning of his condition, he also asked me about my family. During our conversation, he mentioned about a chinese new year advertisment by Petronas few years back, about parents and family.

The scene was about a few aunties sitting in front of old folks home, chatting in Hokkien. All of them told to each other how clever and how rich thier children earn each months. In the end, there was only the son of the quietest and poorest aunty come to visit his mother.

The aunty said this before she left.

'My son comes to fetch me already. He likes to bring me TOGETHER anywhere they go...'

The advertisment ends with the jealousy and sadness of the aunties who show off about their children's achievement just now.

The only 10 minutes short story brings a lot of meanings inside there. I am sure that everyone will be touched or suddenly realises their mistakes after watching this.

The uncle used this example to advise me not to forget about our parents because we are brought up by them, since we were small. Many young generations forgot their parents after they works or marry. He had reminded me that I have not gone back hometown for almost one month. Each weekend, I always tell them that I am too busy, got a lot of classes and no time to go back home. Sometimes, I only go back after 3-4 months, although the journey just takes 4 hours.

'You can choose your gf or bf again, but you only have one father and mother. So must appreciate them'

After the conversation, I realised that it's time to express our love to our parents, not just physically. A simply phone call or visit wouldn't spend us too much but these are very meaningful to my old parents who miss us so much.

I love you, daddy & mummy~

Coffee

I am totally addicted to coffee right now. Everyday, I miss the taste of coffee and I just can't help myself to continue drinking coffee.

Back to last few years before I entered medical school, I did not drink coffee at all. Instead I still managed to study and do my daily activities without taking an afternoon nap. I am totally admired my determination that time.

Right now, my addiction to coffee become worse and worse after days. I must drink a cup of coffee to make me awake whole day. Probably influenced by my roomate as well. I told her that I will get palpitation (increase heart rate) and insomnia once I drink coffee. Meanwhile she likes to drink coffee so much. After so much stress and less time to study, I started my experience drinking coffee, Nescafe 3 in 1.

Out of control, I am totally addicted to this kind of 'caffeine drug' without I could realise it. If coffee was out in one of my day, I will sleep and drowsy for the entire day. The amount is increasing. Oh no, I am dependent of coffee already!!! It is almost similar to drug addict.

I tried to get rid of this 'bad' habit before, not totally, but at least reduce it. In the end, I should admit I am not strong enough to fight with the excitement and effects of coffee. It makes me feel happy and enjoy my days. The feeling after having a cup of hot coffee in the evening is very nice. =)

Hope I wouldn't resistant to coffee after prolonged exposure to it. hahaha....

Sing K

Last week midnight I went to sing K in Greenbox with friends and to celebrate my bf's birthday.

I have not been in Karaokae for quite a long time, more than 6 months. Compare with my records 2 years ago, I was one of the regular customers during that time.

I have to admit that I do not sing much. Most of the time I just sat at side and listen to my friends' singing. I have some kind of inconfidence of my own voice that I always think that I can't sing well. In fact, it proves my thoughts are correct too.

Although don't sing well, I joined choir team since secondary school and also in university. It's hard to believe right? My friends told me before that my problem is not on my voice, just I do not sing with the correct methods. I am not as bad as others who does not sing to the correct key as well. (which make me feel better then)

I found out that some of my friends can sing very well. No matter how hard the songs are, they can sing like a professional singer. Their voice are so comfortable and nice to listen. Anyway, I do enjoy listening everytime.

Hope to have chance and singing with friends in the future, and I would able to sing better next time.

帅哥

一个人的外貌真的那么重要吗？美丽俊俏的脸孔的确吸引人， 还可能会让他们因此而得到不少好处。

今天上了一堂课，导师是个从外国留学归来的帅哥。之前第一次上他的课，不可否认，我被他那斯文的外貌给吸引，今天也是如此。=P

其实俊俏及美丽的定义，因人而异，每人都有不同的审美观。我就是较欣赏这一类的男生，但请别以为我在发花痴，纯粹出自于欣赏。

之前观赏电视节目，很多女生为了欣赏帅哥，会一涌而蜂；现实生活中，我也遇见了真人真事。有同学竟然为了这位导师，出席他们无需出席的一堂课。

回归正传，他的却不只有样貌，知识与自信让他更有魅力，让在场的每位同学顿时对他佩服不已。本身并不明白这堂课的内容，但在短短的一小时内，我茅塞顿开。

结论是：欣赏帅哥，是每个女生的本性，看你是否那个帅哥罢了。。。

SPM results: 5 years before and after

Today is the important for every former Form 5 student because they will know the results of SPM after months of effort. So does my brother.

I told him last week this news once I know the date through the phone. I even made a joke that I hope to change my spectacles after knowing his results, since he always creates some surprises for us in his unexpected exam results.

Waiting his phone call whole morning, finally I made a call to him. He was busy that time. But I can feel his happiness over there.

'How many you get?' that's the first sentence when he answered.

'8'

'Huh? Really?'

Shocked...

'I get B+ in my Biology and Moral, the others are A+, A and A-'

'Congratulation!!! Really so surprised you will score so well'

Previously I always scold him for not studying and keep playing computer game, even my dad also feels so worry of him. But, the results prove that not neccessary to study all the time only can score well. He has clever while I only have hardworking.

Thinking of 5 years ago, I get marvellous results in my SPM too. I managed to enter Matriculation and UM medical school after that. All of these happened just like a routine. I never think of if someday I failed in continuing all of these, what will happen to me?

If I did not get a place in Matriculation, will I continue my study in Form 6?

Will I still choose in Biology or change to Physic?

If I do so, my future will change totally... I would not meet new friends here and my thinking will be different as well. I may not choose to study medicine in university anymore.

Back to reality, we can't go back to the past. All of these were just memories. There was no so many 'what if' for me too. I cannot always live in the memory that I was still the top student in the school. Life goes on. I have to admit I am not excellent anymore. What I can do now is trying my best in strive for the best.

Congrates to my brother again. You are our prouds. =)

Dark skin

Today, when I clerked a Malay patient in the ward, he threw me a question:

'Are u mixed of Siamese?'

'No la, I am Chinese, but I am get used when people ask me this question.' answered with a sweet smile.

I know if my name tag didn't show my name, he properly will think that I am a Malay.

'Oh.. Then are you from Penang?'

'Ya, how do you know that?' surprised

'I can guess from the way you talked to me.'

Since I was small, I don't have fair skin as a chinese should have. Not just due to I like outdoor activities, instead, I stays indoor more often. Think properly, genetic could play some factor in my darker skin colour.

My daddy has dark skin too, caused mainly by his job who exposed alot under sunlight. If I go out together with my dad, sure the strangers will have the impression that we are Malays.

It was not a new experience to me when strangers spoke malay to me, while both of us are Chinese. Since secondary schoool or during my part time job after SPM, I met these situations always. Most of the time, I chose to answer them in Mandarin. What I get after that were their surprise and embarrassing facies. Especially when I kept super short hair that time, I like to make a joke that I came from Indonesia, working as Indonesian maid. Each time I go out, I must bring my IC to prevent I am treated as illegal immigren.

After keeping long hair, this situation does not improve much. The better I was told I looks like a singer, who is also a Malay. =.=lll On the street, I was still asked in Malays by Chinese uncles and aunties. Lecturers, not matter Chinese or Malay like to throw me the same question:

'Are you Siamese?'

'No, I am pure Chinese.'



This is my standard answer.

Change to mature but unchanged friendship

Yesterday night suddenly have a chatting session with my dearly roommate about our life in UM in the past.

We talked about our first, second and third year university life. Realised that we have changed over this 4 years. Become more and more mature because all of us had went through some events that taught us to think and grow up.

Many pleasant memories were brought back from deep of my memory bank. All of my coursemates who were initially strangers, have developed good friendship starting from our first year. Some of them even more than friendship. ^^

During first year, we were divided into 3 different hostels. However, we still had some interaction among hostels just because we studied together. We did alot of crazy events in a large group, outing for movie during orientation weeks, conquer 20++ seats in the cinema, some jokes that make us laugh always when mentioned it. Everyone like to call each other 'labmate', 'dissection hallmate', 'PBLmate'....All these seems make us even closer. Sometimes, we had gathering in anyone's room, updating about the latest news happen among us. So, there is no secret in Medic Faculty. Our friendship was so innocent and true.

Time passed and we are getting more busy in our study. However, we do have some events or celebrations when we are able to do it. Hope that our friendship will last long even after we graduate. :-)

My 15 days of CNY

It's March of 2010! The Chinese New Year has over and I have entered my final year without I realised it for more than 1 week. :-(

I am in Medicine posting as my first start of final year medical school life after CNY. For your information, there are alot of subspecialties in medicine ward: Cardiology, Chest, Gastroenterology, Neurology, Haematology, Renal, Endocrine, Rheumatology, Dermatology.... All those we should try to master it within the duration of 2 MONTHS only!!! Now, you will know why do I don't like medicine compare to other postings. :-P

When a medical student enters final year, he or she will be highly expected to know than before and even at the level of HO because they are going to be part of them just after one year later. We are supposed to know how to get a good history and physical examination, get to appropriate investigation and know how to manage our patient. We are not longer forgiven if we even don't know how to clerking a patient, not to say examine the patient.

Finish mentioned about my study, I have an enjoy CNY and my last weekend anyway.

2010 Chinese New Year

First family photo taken during CNY (All of us in the red, :-))

******

I went out for a gathering with my good friends in Hard Rock Hotel, Penang island on 4th day of CNY

please look at the pose 4 of us did, actually we were posing according to the statues at the back (creative, right?)

*******

I went to Banting on the last weekend, and to my surprise they are going to Malacca and I joined them. I was interested to visit Malacca for years and I never thought that I will go there so suddenly without any sign, hehe. 6 of us went there by 2 cars, overnight in Peichean's house.

This is the prove that I went to Malacca, a typical buiding there

Photos would explain everything. Most of the photos are around the food in Malacca (which some of them I have excluded in this post). In fact, we went to many places to just eat, eat and eat only. So, I think I have increased weight more than 4 kg within these 15 days of CNY. =.=lll It's time for me to do some exercise.

In the end, I want to show a photo that make me so proud.

I learnt to solve the magic cube completely within 2 days last CNY, taught from my brother. hehe.

放下

突然被朋友问了一句：

‘假如你发现你的前任男友结婚了，你的反应会是什么?’

愣住。。。

‘嗯。。。看你是否还在意他。但应该会使祝福他’

过后又多口问了一句：

‘那你当时很伤心吗？’

‘没有喔！只是有点低落而已’

‘但是应该感谢他，让我现在找到了一位更好的男朋友’

好喜欢她的这一句，我们应该知足。

感情世界里，假如时常钻牛角尖，没有学习放下，受伤及辛苦的只有自己。

P/S:纯粹觉得很有意思，希望还在感情迷失的朋友可以早日找到另一片幸福。

Relationship??

Today get a phone call from my secondary school friend. She has some mixed feeling after accidently met someone who she cares so much before. I can't help her too much, just to be a good listener to her.

A couple who break up can't be friends anymore?

There are a few examples around me that prove this question. They try to avoid each other, not more phone call, sms, meet up. Refuse to listen any update news from them. Even they meet on the street, one of them will choose to other way just to avoid the eye contact. In the end, they will be same as strangers to each others. What a sad ending to both of them.

Human is so special and cruel, they can express their love easily and also forget about their last love so easy.. The promise given last time could be abandoned once the feeling is lost. All of those sweet memories are left behind. The thing remained is only broken heart...

I am not mentioning here that all of the break up couples will end up like this. Just that I can see most of them could not avoid this kind of ending. Personally I think that losing a good friends in our life is pity, especially those who you appreciate so much. However, if two of them really not suitable, they should let them free to find their own true love.

What am I talking nonsense here? In conclusion, relationship is a difficult subject in our life. There are alot to learn.

偶像*追星

听着偶像SHE的歌曲，依然如当年那么动听，改变的是我已经失去了当时的追星热忱。

3月6日的演唱会，有人问起有去吗？

笑笑回答：‘没有咯’

‘为什么？你不是很喜欢她们的吗？’得到的是很惊讶的表情

无言。。。

或许成长了点，并不想如此花费父母辛苦赚来的血汗钱。

前几天的大扫除，找出了很多中学时代买的SHE周边产品；当年的一时快乐和荣耀，现在只剩下被遗弃在一旁。曾经统计，为了这个‘兴趣’总共花费了数百的储蓄。

值得吗？ 见仁见智。。。

我建立了与妹妹的良好关系，尝试了第一次的签唱会和演唱会经验，亲身体验遇见偶像时的口吃和心跳加速。好多美好的回忆。。。

到底值得吗？

算是吧？

(开始自言自语了)

演唱会都去过了，现在只剩下与她们合照和偶遇她们的机会了。。。

看来真的发太多明星梦了。。。不过，我还是很希望这一天可以发生 :-P

Birthday Celebration

Last few days, I received a sms ask me whether wanna join a birthday celebration with one of our nice lecturer this thursday. At the moment, my mind told me instantly that I can't join due to my on-call in ward that day. I rejected the invitation with a 'nice' excuse but I was persuaded to go. The time of celebration wouldn't crash with my on-call. However, I still hold on my decision. Furthermore I have a viva test on the next day.

I do not mean not to absent the celebration purposely. When I think back properly, I never attend any party or celebration with the lecturer since last year. Not due to 'special' experience which I know only, hehe... What I can say, it's maybe because of the incorrect timing. :-P

Hope my friends will have a nice day with him tomorrow and wish him HAPPY BIRTHDAY here. He is really a nice doctor and lecturer.

*It is almost the end of January of 2010. Time passes without we knowing... =.=lll

废话

刚才好无聊的开了一位朋友的部落格来看，突然醒觉自己也太久没有更新自己的部落格了。。。

最近的生活总是很乏味，每天周旋在医院和宿舍。每日的课程表总是那么的一成不变，堆积如山的topic,presentation,case summary...真不懂为何自己选择了这条路?

今早又被讲师批评我们是烂的一组，上课完全没有准备。好像听过几次同样的话了，有点麻木了。。。=.=lll

上课发呆慌神被抓包，被叫重复刚才的presentation内容，短暂性失忆症又发作了，一分钟前的东西竟然被我扭转了。下次千万别叫我转达讯息，我极度容易颠倒是非，到时别怪我。:-P

废话完毕，是时候埋头苦读了。。。唉，这是我的命。。。

跑步*回忆

全身肌肉酸痛，跑步留下来的。。。

太久没有跑步了，腿部肌肉全都‘硬化’了; 之前一直想找机会多运动。球技超差的我只有跑步的选择，无奈课业的忙碌是我最好的借口，从而一拖再拖。这个星期一口气连续两天实行我的跑步计划，也不去计较太阳是多么猛烈。

未踏入象牙塔，我完全没有跑步的习惯，只是曾于友人谈起未来进入大学后，我们要相约去跑步，背后还藏了只有我们了解的原因。可惜，这个约定无法一起完成，我也太久没有遇见她了。好怀恋当年纯纯的友情。。。

感激在我生命的旅途中留下脚印的朋友们，不管是否还继续保持联络，只要我的记忆犹在，我都不会忘记。

ENT

Today is my second day in the ENT posting (Ear, Nose, Throat). Before this, I have prepared to be very busy for these 2 weeks due to my friends experiences. However, what I imagine is not so similar to the reality. It is super super crowded in the clinic and busy than i can think.

Today we had a class with Prof Amin. He mentioned that he is quite worry of the quality of doctors produced by University Malaya. A good doctor depends on the attitude, not the knowledge only. Will I be a good doctor later? It is a BIG question mark....

I know that a medical student or in the future as a doctor, I should commitment to my job and role. Prof even mentioned that hospital will be our first home and patients are our first family. The house and our own 'blood-bond' family member only be the second. Wau... If every doctor can do like that, I think the quality of medical field would improve alot.

I still lack of confidence of myself whether I can do my best in the future? I mean in every aspect that is important in my life. Just try my best and do do do...... haha...Just want to find a pathway to express myself. Have to back to my busy life then.

2010

Today is the first day of 2010, my new start in my life. Just found out that i did not update myself for the last whole month. Busy? Still consider a good reason for that. But in fact, LAZY is the main culprit.

Although i have nothing special during my Gynaecology posting, i did alot special 'first time' last month, especially during A&E posting. I have my FIRST IV line set, FIRST cathether inserted, FIRST CPR, FIRST time meet with death. Within the 2 weeks, i have been so hardworking that i never have since i entered medical school. I even spent my christmas eve in the A&E, but not new year eve. hehe. What's my feeling toward A&E is we could meet with any variation of patients there. There could be very ill and chronic patients who fight to survive. However, i oso met with patients who did not appreciate their lives and with suicidal thoughts. They came in with PCM, detergent poisoning and Perfume poisoning??!! Appreciate the life given by our parents please...

What I can recall the activities done last week clearly was only for the last 2 weeks. (Short term memory, haih.......)

21 December: First day in A&E, did 2 CPR and knew 4 elective students from Australia there. Attend Christmas Night in Dewan Jermelang at night.

22 December: Another CPR done. Took photos with my coursemates at the UM 2009. (It seems like a traditional among MBBS students)

23 December: my FIRST blood donation. Had that thoughts after lunch in Secret Recipe. My poor right forearm is having haematoma until now due to my stupid and press to the wrong site. Had supper with our DISASTER lecturer after a class at 9pm.

24 December: went to check-up in Medicine Clinic. The Echo results show my heart problem was not so severe and no need to worry too much. (This was what i was told by the doctor). Check for my thyroid function test, another needle prick on my left forearm. :-P Have my dinner in Armcorp mall with my roomate, in the Korea restaurant we like.

25 December: Christmas Day. Spent the first minute in A&E. Hide in my room most of the time. Celebrate in front of our office with some of my coursemates.

26 December: Went out to meet up with my old friends.

27 December: Another Hiding day

28 December: Busy day since i have off myself too long

29 December: A&E, A&E, A&E.....

30 December: No electeric supply since morning till 9pm at night. It was so hot and dark.... Stupid hostel....

31 December: Last day in 2009 and also my A&E posting. Spent my last few hours of 2009 with girls and playing cards. Win a few games in the start, but i started to lose my luck after 12am :-( It seems i am going to win soon, but my friends managed to win me at the last minutes. Brain starting to slow down after some alcohol effect???

No fireworks, no shouting or countdown for my 2010, but i am glad it is a peaceful night. Hope i will have a wonderful 2010 and thanks for those who have coloured my 2009 calender. :-)

珍惜眼前人

最近听了一些梁静茹的旧歌，发现她的歌曲挺适合疗情伤。其中最爱‘会呼吸的痛’和‘第三者’。

身边的几位友人在感情路上碰到了触礁，感叹感情的脆弱，说变就变。。。

感情道路上，一切看似顺心如意，是值得雀跃；不过，背后隐藏的，可能是更大的考验，等待我们一起携手度过。很多人对自己和伴侣没有信心，换来的是无尽的眼泪和心碎。

感情的坚固性，无法以长短来衡量，眼见的例子就有几位。究竟，是命运作弄，还是人为呢?

停笔前，笔者告诉自己：珍惜眼前人，努力经营得来不易的感情。

Dressing Room and Home Nursing

These two days I went through 'Dressing' and 'Home Nursing' postings in Primary care medicine, saw a few patients who make me so sad after seeing their conditions.

It is normal to see a lot of patients waiting to have their dressing or take off their suture (Suture to off/STO) in dressing room. I am a clumsy people, simple steps of cleaning wounds would take me a long time. My dad told me before that I am not going to be a good doctor if I even cannot console them when they are in pain or uncomfortable. I had the chance to clean the wound on finger for my dad at home last time and of course I did it so badly. It made me feel ashame of myself as a medical student.

Yesterday, I started to clean a carbuncle wound under nurse's supervision. Luckily, the nice uncle did not complain of my poor technique. However, the nurse commented that I should not too nervous and fast since I was new yet. If not, patients would not reduce their pain and suffer in the end. As a future doctor, I should not cause any harm to patients even I can't help them so much now. Here, I feel very sorry to uncles and aunties who is 'unlucky' to be taken blood by me last friday. My lack of experience cause some of them had to be suffer from the needle twice. :-( I know they have the rights not to be taken blood by medical students unnecessary. The only solution for this problem is.......I have to practice more and gain experience. Practice makes perfect mah...

There are a lot of diabetic patients. Mostly are due to the diabetic foot problems and have amputation of their toes or whole foot. There were burn and post-operation patients too. This was also my first experience of seeing severe bed sore wound. Some of them are in pain, some are on wheel chairs.

The most severe I saw during yesterday morning is a chinese elderly man who is paralysis. He is unable to move or talk and on tracheostomy. He had a big bed sore and I heard that he was taken care by people in nursery home before he was brought back by his daughter. I feel pity of him (instead I feel pity for everyone who is sick) because he has to suffer from all those pain and can't even talk out his true feeling. In my mind, everyone should have the rights to be healthy and enjoy their life. However, after practical in hospital for more than one year, this make me feel that sometime life is miserable and unpredictable.

Today went to 4 patients' houses for home nursing. To my surprise, we also went to the house of that patient. He seems to have a lot of other medical problems. Luckily, his daughter takes good care of him, learning the methods to clean his wounds, reduce the pain and complications he would have and try to get any medication he needs. Deep in my mind, I am respect the family members who are so patient to take care ill patients. This reminds me of the strong power of family support. :-)

New Moon

Few days back, when I went to shopping in Midvalley, I saw a series of book in a book store. It is Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. Actually I only watched the movie 'Twilight' few weeks ago, after my supplement exam, although the movie was quite long already.

I still remember I watched together with my bf in the midnight. He told me that he is quite interested after he saw the trailer of 'New Moon' before that. Previously I heard a lot of good comments about the movie. However, I did not have chance to watch it. It has been quite a long time for me do not watch a 2 hour movie since I was too tension preparing my exam. I did enjoy the movie so much and can't believe that i like it since then.

While i considered to buy the book, my friend told me that our another coursemate has the collection of this book. She adviced me to borrow from him rather than spent my own money. After back to hostel, I get the book one, Twilight from him. It is translated into mandarin, which is more suitable to me, haha... This is because I am chinese-educated until secondary school and I really LOVE mandarin so much. I have to admit that my english standard is very low. Most of my English only get some improvement since I enter Matriculation. Thanks to my friend who practice English with me during that time and I did learn a lot from them.

I am addicted to the books now and also looking forward the coming 'New Moon' movie. My friend told me that it will be on the end of November. Will have the chance to see the handsome Edward Cullen again. hehe....

And my mood is better compare to previous few days, after understanding what I worry about is not exist at all. =)

Thinking too much....

Looks like i already abondon my blog here for quite a long time. I only post my blog or express my feeling here when i feel down, this is just like my rubbish bin, very sorry ya...

Today i post another post here, it is quite obvious that my mood changes again. Actually, lots of things happen starting from september till now. I finshed my supplement exam and in the end I made it!!!

Entering phase 3B, I told myself i should be more hardworking and do not let the mistake happen again. Really, i did my promise for first week. After that, my bad habit comes back again. I start watching drama, 攻心计&下一站幸福. Especially the 2nd drama, it is a love story. I know it is not reality at all, but i still addicted to that. I really cham lo, keep dreaming...

The story line is quite similar to novel, and easy to predict the ending. However, I like Vanness very much, especially in ice-skating and also the court part. (for those who watch before will understand what i mean, hehe)

In fact, last few days I was totally in a bad mood, without any reason. Actually, i think this is due to some changes in my friends. I felt i am left behind. When i need someone to talk with, nobody can accompany me. They are busy with their own stuffs. Somore, my dear roommate takes her morning flight to Taiwan today. She will be there for 26 days. My other best friends are also going to go back their hometown this weekend after they have finish their own elective projects. In conclusion, I will be alone for quite a long time here, with less and less who I can believe to talk with because i used to share them my problems before this. I am not sure whether I can tahan for so long period...I totally can't live alone. haiz...

For 2 nights before, my tears are almost uncontrolled a few times when I think of my 'pity' situation. My dear roommate found out my abnormal behaviour and tried to counsel me, asked me not to think too much, everything is just fine... yaya, I hope I will be normal after few days.

Continue my long long story after my mood is better after this.